Today is December 2, 2003. I can hardly believe it’s December already. Where has this year gone?
In retrospect, this year has been one of great sadness. It has also been a year of learning (and re-learning) some important life lessons for me, but then I always feel this at the end of every year. I think it’s important to take stock. But why wait for December 31st to do it? So without further ado, here’s what I’ve learned, so far, this year:
One of the most important things I’ve learned is to make myself stronger from the inside, to trust my own instincts more, and to listen to and pay more attention to my inner voice.
There are those who will only want to lift you higher, and will do so. Those are the people I want in my life. You know who you are, and for each and every one of you, I am truly thankful. I have some of the most wonderful friends anyone could have ever asked for, I couldn’t dream up better ones. And with them I feel safe to be myself. With them I feel the true meaning of the words “love” and “friendship”. And through doing this weblog I have met several amazing and wonderful people, and look forward to getting to know each of you better in 2004.
I’m starting to feel that it’s okay to have my feelings and express them. Even if others don’t agree, even if others might think how I feel is ridiculous, who are they to tell me that? These are my feelings and if FOR NO OTHER REASON than that, they are valid. If you want to convince me that there is another way to think about things, sure, I’ll listen to you and appreciate your take on things, because that’s how you feel. However, I expect you to afford me the same courtesy. But without having my heart stomped on, thank you very much. If you feel the need to stomp, please go stomp somewhere else.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to be unique, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I’ve always known I was sort of different. “Who put such a high price on being typical?” I loved that line from Almost Famous. Isn’t that a classic? To listen to my own inner music, and to be true to that sound.
There is a time to rest, a time to create and a time to explore. And sometimes this is given to us (or forced upon us) when we least expect it, or even, perhaps, when we least want it. Ahhh, but the embracing of it can be such a gift, if we allow ourselves to do so.
To truly let slide that which does not matter.
We each move at our own pace, in all aspects of our lives. There was a story that goes something like this: “This tiny school had 3 students, a bird, a rabbit and a fish. The bird was a superb flyer, but not that good at swimming. The rabbit could hop better than the other two, but wasn’t all that good at flying. And the fish, well the fish was a lousy flyer and couldn’t hop at all, but he could outswim the other two.” The point? You can’t make a rabbit into a fish anymore than you can make yourself (or another person for that matter) into someone else. You are who you are, celebrate that!
Can a person change? I think they can, most definitely. But they have to want to do it, and for their own reasons: nobody can do it for them.
Fear is just a barrier to creativity, letting go is a powerful thing. I’ve learned to let go. Everything can fall down (and this year it did), and I still survived. I believe that it’s how you handle yourself while everything is falling down around you, that grace that comes from within that counts.
Yes, hope emerges triumphant. But even more important than hope is love. You can empower yourself, when you decide to live your life and listen to your heart, to learn from your past, enjoy your present and dream for your future. Yes, I believe that you are that powerful.
The preciousness of every single day. I don’t want life to pass me by, but that balance is key.
Yes, these are some of the things I’ve learned this year.
Thank you, Rhiannon, for teaching me more than I ever imagined I could learn from a 13 year old. Love you.
Myla Kent (Redmond, WA, USA)
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