This photograph of my youngest son, Stephen, aged 6yrs, is a reminder of one of those moments in life where there is a shared joy in creating a silly situation (the food layout) that is familiar, no doubt, to parents the world over. More importantly it is a moment when he is framed within my memory and acts as a link to other family members and times. Stephen has autistic spectrum disorder and so looks at the world with both a sense of natural eagerness coupled with an unsureness as to what to do.

His brother, Alexander, and sister, Julia, both older, generally interact as if nothing was different and he is just an annoying little brother. Over the last two years we have had the turmoil of his school saying they cannot cope, having to find a suitable special school, begin a medication regime (and watch for side effects) and regularly reassure him as to what and who would be passing through his life. Slowing down to his pace is both revealing and cumbersome: I am called through love for him to readjust my focus of the world and know that I cannot live his life nor ignore my own.

I try to see him not through grey toned (disordered)glasses, rather, through the kaleidoscopic lenses with which i see his siblings: the possibilities to choose from if given the broad grounding of a loving and encouraging family life. He is one of my loved four, all equally deserving of that love which nurtures, respects, holds and offers an accountability and rests peacefully in an embrace which supports-toward-the-future.

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