The orders came in Sunday, May 5th.

My boys leave June 17 and will not return home for at least two years. I was really hoping that it would be like the last time and things would be called off. But deep down I knew that was not the case.

Matt has turned in his paper work to his boss. His last day was June 4th, then he has taken that week to visit love ones out of town and do things he will not be able to for a long time. Things we take for granted like playing on the computer, going to the movies, eating fast food, and just being with famly and friends. He will not see his baby who is due in October till the child is almost two. He will not see the birth, be there for the first steps, witness the little things and habits of his little one. Such a hard place to be when this is your first child. I believe things have hit Steph hard now with the coming of the papers.

And Chris, his boy will be starting preschool if not kindergarten upon his return. Children grow so fast and here these children are heading out in a short time to fight in this bloody war.

How can I not feel anger and despair when all I see is more attack right after the other. A few weeks ago I was watching the news. The picture showed our boys returning fire on those attacking them. What most may have not caught while watching is the soldier whose sleeve had gone red from where he was shot and the one next to him whom had ducked to reload turning towards the camera had blood splattered on his face. They fought on, as if the wounds were not there. Not much blood was visibly lost but with adrenalin pumping over time it could. I mean not to bring visions of sadness into the picture but you can not hide it either.

The government wants to keep hidden the photos of those whom have passed. Calling it disrespectful to the families. Why hide it as if it is as shameful thing that these men and women have gone and defending their country. Why cover the truth that is happening. There should be no sugar coating. All that does is give the disillusion that things are grand, and no war is grand.

No war is wonderful.

No war is perfect.

No war goes with out death.

A sad time ahead, but I keep my optimism about me.

One must.

In our strength the boys shall have strength.

I already can't wait to have them home even though they will return so changed.

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